My child is beautiful.

by Apathy Jack

I knew his mother would produce a special baby. I don't know if it was the scars up her arms, or the way her eyeliner was too precise to have been applied in anything under three hours.

So anyway, after a whirlwind romance of hyperbolic TV references and affected Victorianism, she fell pregnant. (I am, of course, underestimating the fairly significant role played in said conception by some particularly dramatic occultism on my part. But, while making good television, the experience wasn't overly pleasant, so I choose to move fairly quickly past it.)

Of course, none of the spells I cast in that rain dark ally were meant to make his skin quite as blue as it turned out.

There has been a lot of speculation about that, actually. It could be due to a lot of disparate factors, but my wife was making her own drugs in those days, so no one can ever really be sure what was going into her system during the pregnancy.

Now, just to clear something up; We're not sure if he's psychokinetic. Yes, he does seem to be more than able to move objects without making any physical contact, and it would explain the intense glow that pierces out from his eyes more frequently every day, but personally, I believe that he's just really persuasive.

And while some sick people believe that I am the one who carved the distinct lettering into his forehead, this is not true. Those wounds were inflicted in vitro, in a series of attempted abortions carried out by a number of outraged mobs, determined not to let my child 's birth stain the world.

My wife, of course, survived these attacks - she's too resilient to let a few knifings and a shooting or five slow her down (frankly she was pleased for the new scars). And while, yes, some lacerations were inflicted on the foetus she was carrying, the co-incidence that they happened to form the word "FREAK" just goes to show, I think, that he is something special.

But anyone who's heard him speak with the voice of God will have already figured that one out. But that's another story, which will have to wait until your ears have stopped bleeding...